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Foghorn: Allergies and Confusion

lighthouse on top of cliff

Photo by Harrison Haines on

I don’t know what I’m allergic to, I mean aside from amoxicillin and plastic band-aids. I didn’t experience seasonal allergies until I went to college, and then it was something that would blow in every autumn.

I’ve avoided it the last couple years; I think masking up to avoid COVID helped keep lots of stuff out of my nasal passages. But something’s getting me now. I’m finally rounding the corner and can breathe again a little better. My mind is still slow making connections, though. I am both the fog, in a haze of medicines, and the foghorn, blowing my nose with an embarrassing honking sound.

Side note: I looked for stock photos of foghorns to use as the cover picture for this post, and I think I knew that a foghorn and a lighthouse are technically different things, but I guess I just expected the foghorn to be in the lighthouse, or attached to it near the light, and all the pictures I got were just not what I expected. Clearly I do not live near a foggy coastline.

My brain is in a funny state. I don’t know if it’s the snot or the sinus pressure, perhaps mild oxygen depravation, or maybe the effects of antihistamines and decongestants. I made two jokes in the last two days that I was really proud of and which caught Kalen off guard. I laughed at myself, but I was definitely in that little high space after the Benadryl starts to kick in but before being able to sleep. So I think I found it funnier than it was. They were both corny dad jokes at best. But I’m going to share them with you anyway.

Why has Bigfoot never had his email hacked?

Because it’s en-cryptid.

Ba-dum tshh!

So bad, right? I’m equally proud and ashamed of myself, and there’s no way I’m the first person to tell that joke, but I haven’t seen it anywhere, so I’m claiming it.

The other requires a visual aid. This is the control panel on our dishwasher:

Fancy right? We’ve had it a little less than a year, and that’s how I know I’m getting old, that I’m so excited about a dishwasher. But our old one was awful, so let me have my joy.

Kalen was preparing the dishwasher to run before we went to bed and quietly saying the settings to himself (we are both in the allergy fog this week). He asked, half to himself, half to me, “Bottle jet?” but he wasn’t enunciating very clearly, so it was more like “botta jet?”

And I looked up and said, “Isn’t that one of Boba Fett’s brothers?”

It’s not even a very good joke, but Kalen really likes Star Wars, and I think he was ready to ask me to marry him all over again. I think the impressed surprise on his face was even funnier than the joke, but I can’t really convey that here. I could barely relay the joke. Just imagine it, it was funny. If it’s still not funny, take some cold medicine and try again. It’ll be funny eventually.

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