Hot take: grocery store cake is kinda gross. Don’t @ me. Look, if I’m at a party or a meeting or what-have-you, and someone says, “Don’t forget to have some cake!” and it’s a grocery store cake, I’ll still have a slice. I’m not a monster, after all. But even the grocery stores that have cult followings who swear the cake is the best you’ve ever had still make cakes that don’t have much more flavor than cotton candy, which is to say that they’re essentially sugary air. I like sugar, but cake can be so much more than that.
A few years ago, I started a new tradition for my birthday. I briefly mentioned it last year, but it’s that time again and baby Moopsy has given me some major writer’s block, so I’m taking the inspiration when it hits. I’m not saying everyone should follow every tradition everyone else has, but stepping out of your comfort zone to try new things now and then is a healthy practice, and if you’re already being healthy, you can totally add some cake to the equation. And I think this tradition could catch on with the right people: Make your own birthday cake.
I know, I know. It sounds kind of pathetic at first. Who bakes their own birthday cake? Birthdays are supposed to be when everyone else celebrates you, including, traditionally, getting you presents and a cake. (I’ve heard of other people who, being less fond of cake, opt for a different sweet treat on their birthday. This concept can still apply.) I’ll admit, the first year I made my own cake, I began the process feeling a little sorry for myself. It was 2021, and the only reason I was making my own birthday cake was because my favorite bakery hadn’t survived the pandemic and my parents weren’t going to be able to come visit either. No cake from Mom or from AmyCakes.
Kalen had asked several times if there was somewhere else I wanted a cake from, but I enjoy baking, and I’m afraid I’ve become a little bit of a snob about baked goods in the process (see above). I didn’t want to settle for a grocery store cake or hunt down another bakery and order a cake just to be disappointed. Fortunately for me, though, after AmyCakes closed their bakery, Amy began sharing her recipes online, and I was able to make the cake I would have purchased from her in my own kitchen (I’ve linked to her page there and you owe it to yourself to try out some of her recipes).
Some things always taste better when someone else makes them for you: a sandwich, a cup of tea, any green salad, most breakfasts. Imagine my surprise when I found this is not necessarily true for cake. Not in an arrogant, “My cake is better than anyone else’s!” way, (there are lots of people who bake better than I do, and I’m the first to admit that my decorating is a work in progress; it’s okay, not great), but it’s better in an, “I worked for and earned this,” way.
I’m reminded a lot of Nick Offerman’s “paddle your own canoe” theory. Like his character in Parks and Recreation, Offerman does woodworking, and when Kalen and I saw the comedian perform live a few years ago, he talked about and encouraged the audience to paddle their own canoe, be it literally or figuratively. Paddling a canoe down a stream (or, in my own scenario, eating any cake) is very nice. There’s nothing wrong with this situation as is, and that’s the way most people experience it: any cake, any canoe. But the experience takes on new levels of meaning and enjoyment when you’ve built the canoe (or baked, assembled, and frosted the cake) with your own two hands, and not just because you can make whatever preferential adjustments you like to your creation, but because it comes with the satisfaction of accomplishment, self-sufficiency, and the inner richness that comes from cultivating any creative pursuit.
There are other benefits to making your own cake, too. Nobody ever talks about it, but the best part of a cake is the scrap. If you bake in a round cake pan and have to cut off the domed part to level it, that little trimmed-off part (especially if it’s still a little warm) is a delicacy. AmyCakes’ method involves baking in a sheet pan and then cutting out the circles (or whatever shape, I guess) for layering, leaving scraps in between. These are also a special treat and can be made into cake balls for decoration or snacking! Bonus cake to have with your cake! But if someone else makes your cake, you likely never even see these scraps. You might have gone your whole life until this very moment unaware that they even existed. You didn’t know what you were missing before, but now you do. I’m sorry/you’re welcome.
And of course you can lick the beater (and/or the bowl) after you make the frosting. You can do this with the batter, too, if that’s your thing (I find this more tempting with cookie dough than cake batter to be honest, but I can see the appeal; I’m just not allowed to partake of any of those at the moment because of Moopsy).
All this to say, I made my own birthday cake and I loved the whole process, and I encourage you to try it too. Or if you’re too scared, find a friend to bake it with you (thus granting you access to those tasty cake scraps and the frosting bowl). Of course, for my friends and family, I will always gladly bake a cake for you, but I wish you all the joy of finding something like that to create for yourself. Happy birthday, whenever your birthday may be.
