Old Wives’ Tales

I like trying to apply science to things that are decidedly non-scientific, like comparing the personality traits of people with very close birthdays to find the nonsense of astrology, or comparing the winter weather predictions of woolly worms and persimmons to the actual meteorological outcomes. Since I’m just one weird woman, I never get a statistically significant sample size, but that doesn’t keep from my little experiments.

Of course, pregnancy seemed like a good opportunity to test some things, especially because I wouldn’t have to scavenge persimmons or hunt for hairy caterpillars, and there are no end of old wives’ tales associated with pregnancy. I’ve learned that the one about heartburn and baby’s hair has more or less been accepted as true, although “lots of heartburn” is not exactly a scientific measurement and it’s more of a correlation than a causation. I’m not especially concerned with how hairy or bald the baby ends up being, but I am, of course, curious about whether Moopsy turns out to be a little boy or a little girl. Obviously, either is fine, and if, later on, Moopsy decides that they feel their insides don’t match their outsides, we’ll support that too. But a hypothetical future isn’t going to help me pick names to put on the birth certificate.

We were supposed to have the big ultrasound the week of Christmas, but because it was the week of Christmas, a lot of offices were closed or had key personnel out of the office, and our appointment got pushed back to the following week. I was a little disappointed, but not at all surprised, as I had counted out the weeks well ahead of time and thought, “Yeah, I bet that doesn’t happen.” We have since had our scans and know the answer, but we aren’t sharing because it’s honestly a lot of fun to watch people try to guess or sneak the information out of us. So for the sake of the curious, why not try some other predictors? I found a list of old wives’ tales on The Bump that are supposed to predict the sex of the baby, and thought it would be fun to test them out.

Chinese Gender Predictor – I don’t know how to calculate this one myself, but it uses the month of conception and the mother’s age at the time to decide whether the baby is a boy or girl. The article listing the tests had a link to an automated one on The Bump website, so I input the month and my age and it said Girl.

Mayan Predictor Test – This one feels similar to the Chinese test because it, too, is based on the mother’s age and when the baby was conceived. I also don’t have any evidence that either of these tests actually originated with the cultures they’re ascribed to. This one takes the year of baby’s conception (in this case 2023) and the mother’s age at the time of conception (35). If one number is even and the other is odd, it’s a boy; if they’re both even or both odd, it’s a girl. This one also, then, said Moopsy is a Girl.

Baby Hairline Test – This test looks at the hairline on your current or youngest child to predict your next baby’s sex. If the child’s hair comes to a peak at the nape of their neck, the next baby will the opposite sex. If the child’s hair goes straight across, the baby will be the same sex as your current child. This isn’t especially helpful for me, though, or any other first time moms. For shits and giggles, though, I looked at Pippin’s hairline, since he’s sort of my first child. While his hair doesn’t stop at his neck (if anything, it gets thicker and fuller where a human child’s hair would stop), his coloring changes at his neck, and that line is more of a peak than straight across, so Pippin’s hair indicates that Moopsy will be a Girl.

Acne Test – According to this one, carrying a boy will result in a beautiful glowing complexion, but a girl will give you acne and leave you looking less than stellar. The article I referenced actually says “like death warmed over,” and while my appearance of liveliness depends significantly on the time of day, I mercifully haven’t had much trouble with acne. I wouldn’t say I’m dewy and radiant (except when I get too warm, which is frequently, and get flushed and sweaty, but that’s not quite the same thing), but the lack of zits says we’ll be having a Boy.

Partner Weight Gain Test – This legend says that if your partner gains weight during your pregnancy, it’s a girl. In the course of seeing to my every need and helping me conquer every craving, Kalen has put on a few pounds of his own. Girl.

Mood Test – I’m going to just be up front and say I hate this one because it feels sexist as hell. It says that if pregnancy is causing big mood swings, it’s a girl, but if you’re not moody, it’s a boy. Whoever came up with this can fuck right off, and despite my strong reaction to the terms of this test, I really haven’t been especially moody (or no more so than usual), so I’m saying this one probably indicates Boy.

Hair Growth Test – If your hair is more beautiful than ever, you’re having a boy, and if your hair is lackluster, it’s a girl. And/or if you have increased hair growth elsewhere on your body, especially in “places you wouldn’t prefer” (as the Bump so lovingly put it), it’s a boy. My hair seems a little better than before, but I think some of that is because I switched conditioners when first trimester nausea made me suddenly averse to the smell of the old one. I have had to shave my legs more frequently as my hair is just growing faster, and the ongoing battle with stray chin hairs has also escalated significantly. I guess that means it’s a Boy.

Ring Test and Swinging Necklace Test – These two are almost the same as each other. In one, you tie your wedding ring to a string and your partner holds the ring over your bump (I guess the test might be on the judgmental side if you’re not married. You can judge the test right back for not being scientifically sound. It deserves it). The other version is a little more open-minded because it uses a necklace and doesn’t require a partner’s help. In that one, you place one arm on a table or flat surface with your palm facing up while you dangle the necklace over your wrist, with a few short bobs to get the movement started. In either case, if the jewelry swings in a circle, the baby is a girl, but if it swings back and forth, you’ve got a boy.

Since the necklace test doesn’t specify which wrist to hold the necklace over, I tried it on both. My first few attempts didn’t really result in any swinging, just a kind of jiggle that couldn’t be categorized as either circular or back and forth. After two or three I got a little more vigorous and really slung the necklace around to get it moving and it settled on a back and forth motion. For science’s sake, I switch hands and tried with the other wrist. I jumped straight to the more enthusiastic dunking and this time it settled into a circle. I don’t know what to tell you. When Kalen got home we tried the one with the ring and it went back and forth, indicating a boy.

Cravings Test – I feel like this one is pretty common (I’d heard it before, anyway), and it suggests that if you’re craving sweets, you’re having a girl, but salty or sour cravings mean baby will be a boy. My cravings haven’t been especially powerful (or no more powerful than my good old just-a-fat-girl-who-loves-to-eat cravings), and they haven’t been especially strange so far. But the things that I would count as cravings have fallen on both the salty and sweet sides of things. Moopsy is a big fan of chicken sandwiches and any form of potatoes (boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew), but raspberry sorbet was a lifesaver when nausea had me dreaming of cooler autumn temperatures, and one night I wanted a bowl of Cap’n Crunch so badly I had a very vivid dream about the box that was tucked safely in the kitchen pantry. I think this one has to be a draw.

Baby Bump Test – I don’t really know what to say about this one. This test assesses the shape of your bump to determine what you’re having. If your bump is more rounded and looks like you’ve stuffed a basketball in your shirt, it’s a girl. If your bump looks more like you’re smuggling a watermelon, it’s a boy. My problem with this one is mostly that by the time most bumps are big enough to be decidedly more round or oblong, you’re well past the point of the pregnancy where you can find out on an ultrasound, and the shape of a bump often changes over the course of a pregnancy. While my bump is finally becoming defined enough that it doesn’t just look like I’ve been spending too much time with the cookie jar, I don’t know that it really qualifies as either a basketball or a watermelon. Most of the bumps that I would classify was “watermelon-esque” tend to get that way near the end of the 8th month anyway. If you made me choose, I’d say it’s more round than oblong, so Girl?

Linea Nigra Test – The Linea Nigra is that dark line that sometimes runs up the middle of a pregnant belly. Supposedly, if the line stops at your navel, you’re having a girl. If the line continues up over and past your navel, you’re having a boy. The internet tells me a linea nigra typically appears around the halfway point in the pregnancy, but even close to 2/3 of the way through, I have no hint of such a line (which is probably related to the fact that I’m just very pale in general). With the average timing, it’s probably going to be after the sex of the baby can be determined with an ultrasound for most pregnancies, so it’s been rendered fairly pointless with technology. I guess for giggles, I can update this one later on and compare accuracy, but at this point it’s inconclusive.

Dreams Test – The wisdom of the old wives says that if you dream about the sex of the baby, it’s the opposite of whatever you dream. I have, on different nights, dreamt of both a little boy and a little girl, so this one is also a draw, and I haven’t seen anything about using anyone else’s dreams to determine it, although my mom had a dream that her late mother told her it was a girl. But maybe adding extra generations in there works like a double negative. I really couldn’t say.

Key Test – I started writing this post very earlier in my pregnancy, and I blame this test in particular for the delay in sharing it because I had to give myself time to forget it before I could actually do the test. It says that the sex of the baby can be determined by the way the mother picks up keys. Because I’m not a lunatic, I keep my keys on a key ring and I grab the whole wad as I run out the door, but that’s not how this test works. You have to find some loose keys and then if you pick up a key by the top part of the key, it means one gender, and if you pick it up by the teeth it means the other. But of course, once you know, you think about it too hard and you’re obviously going to pick it up the way that indicates whatever kind of baby you want. Although, I don’t think I’ve ever thought to grab a key by the toothy part when the other part is specifically made to be grasped between your thumb and forefinger? Maybe this dates back to when everyone just used skeleton keys and it wasn’t so weird to grab them by the long skinny part, but the article didn’t say anything about what kind of keys they should be. Since I didn’t want to take my keys off my keyring for this, we made a special trip to the Blue Store. In the area where they have all the doorknobs and the key cutting machine, they sometimes also have a five gallon bucket of assorted, random keys. I was going to have Kalen grab a handful of keys and put them on the counter for me to pick one up, but our Blue Store had no such magical bucket of keys. Finally fed up, I took my own keys off the key ring, jumbled them on the table and picked one up. Despite my opinions on the “right” way to grab a key I grabbed it by the toothy part which apparently means we’re having a girl.

Baking Soda Test and Red Cabbage Test – While I most wanted to blame the key test for the delay in sharing this post, these two tests really were the final hold up, and I briefly considered just not doing them. I like that they feel almost scientific because they do involve chemical reactions, but there doesn’t seem to be any indication that the chemical reactions are based on anything that is actually relevant to the baby’s genetically-determined sex, which is an important distinction in science. I don’t like that they both involve me peeing in a cup and then using that collected urine sample for what is essentially arts and crafts, hence the significant delay. They also both specify that it must be “the first urine of the day.” I understand that, typically, the first pee of the morning is more concentrated because you’ve typically been sleeping all night and not hydrating like you do throughout the day. I think that applies to most people. After several months of this, I’m not sure it always applies to pregnant people. Why should my 6 a.m. pee be any more potent than the pee that I also took at 4, or 2, and midnight, and 10, especially since I usually need a little sip of water upon returning to bed from such nightly adventures? And everything I’ve read says this is pretty typical of pregnant people: we just pee all the time. Also, when I finally get myself out of bed in the morning, I’m not thinking about digging out a disposable cup to pee in; I’m thinking about all the stuff I have to get done, like making breakfast, feeding the dog, giving him his medicine, emptying the dishwasher, and any other tasks that may be specific to the day.

Anyway, once the urine of dubious potency (which may or may not be a sketchy potion from Dungeons and Dragons) has been collected, it is to be mixed. For the baking soda test, the urine is mixed with, obviously, baking soda “in equal amounts.” But it doesn’t specify if that’s by weight or volume or what. Pretty piss poor science if you ask me (ba-dum, tsh!). If the baking soda fizzes, you’re having a boy. If it doesn’t, you’re having a girl. All this is really showing is whether your urine is of a certain acidity, but I haven’t found any information that actually correlates urine acidity with baby’s sex, which would be a pretty easy test for doctors to perform if it actually had any merit.

The other test requires a little prep work first. You start by chopping some red cabbage and then boiling it in water. You save and cool a little bit of the cabbage water and then mix it, also in equal parts (but at least it’s liquid to liquid, so it’s a little more analogous) with that morning pee. I’m guessing not a lot of people do this test during their first trimester because mixing pee and cabbage water sounds like a lot to handle while battling any pre-existing nausea. Once mixed, if the pissy cabbage water is pink or red, it means it’s a boy while something more purple is a girl. Red cabbage is another acidity indicator, so, like the baking soda test, it claims that a boy would make your urine more acidic. Since I was only going to pee in a cup once (at home, anyway; they make you do it at the doctor’s office every time when you’re pregnant), I could have just done one test and assumed that they other would say the same thing but I’m home by myself all day and what else am I going to come up with to entertain you people?

I did a control test on the cabbage water (which starts at a beautiful deep blue color) by adding a little lemon juice to it, which is shown above. I opted not to gross anyone out by posting pictures of the actual urine samples (you’re welcome), but the baking soda one did fizz, though only slightly. And similarly, the cabbage water one changed, but again, only slightly. Here’s where I’m going to split hairs. The baking soda test simply asks for whether or not there was any reaction, and in this case, there was, which means Moopsy is a boy. Upon a second reading of the cabbage test, however, it appears that we aren’t looking for just any change. It specifically says that pink or red is a boy, but something “more purple” is a girl. Because the cabbage water started out a very definite blue, it seems to be suggesting that most urine is going to be slightly on the acidic side of neutral (which a cursory search of internet medical sites confirms, though there is a wide range of “normal”), but it’s the degree of acidity that we are looking for. When combined with the pee, the cabbage water definitely didn’t turn pink or red, but it was certainly more purple than its original blue color, which I interpret under the parameters of the test to mean girl.

My final testing method wasn’t on any list, but it was one I heard about when I was still in elementary school: Jim the Wonder Dog. Jim was reported to have marvelous, inexplicable abilities that included understanding commands in various languages (even though his owner only spoke English), predicting the winner of the Kentucky Derby, and predicting the sex of unborn babies. His unusual abilities didn’t include unnaturally long life, however, and Jim died in 1937, so obviously I can’t go find and ask him. I mean, I’ve visited his grave a couple of times (I’m not an obsessive super fan; it’s just not far from where my grandparents used to live), so I could go ask him, but I don’t think he’d answer. Pippin hasn’t technically been classified as a “wonder dog,” but he is pretty smart and seems to understand a lot more than I can easily explain away, and asking him seemed as likely to be accurate as picking up keys or swinging jewelry around.

If I recall correctly, when asked to predict if a baby was a boy or girl (and I think at least once, the number of each in a litter of kittens), Jim was presented with cards that said either “boy” or “girl” on them. When I offer Pippin two identical treats at the same time, he always picks the one in my right hand first, so to offset this phenomenon, I presented Pippin with more than just two cards, and had them arranged on the floor before he came in. Unfortunately, when I called him, he ran in, sniffed all the cards equally and gave me a look that said, “What the hell, Mom? There are no treats in here.”

I instead took only one of each card, held them both in the same hand and asked again, “Which one?” he pawed to the right, where the “girl” card was. I had him sit again, switched the cards and asked one more time, he pawed across to the left, still to the girl card. Finally I put the two cards on the ground and put a single treat on each one and decided to see which one he would go to first. He got his treats, and you get his answer: Pippin thinks Moopsy will be a girl.

So, what’s the final count? Logic tells us it should be pretty close to an even split, since these aren’t scientific at all, but on such a small sample, we can hardly count on the results to fall evenly. With 17 tests performed, eight said girl, five said boy, and four were inconclusive.

Do you have any predictors you swear by? Care to weigh in on what you think Moopsy will be? Let me know in the comments!